Everything Always Episode 79: Bonding with Older Bonus Kids and Having an “Us” Baby with Melissa Wilson

Today I’m excited to welcome Melissa Wilson onto the show to talk about bonding with bonus kids and how to navigate bringing an “us” baby into the family. A certified fitness trainer who is passionate about health and nutrition, Melissa is also a step-parent with a lot of insight on creating a strong and transparent relationship with a stepchild. Listen in as we discuss how to handle having different rules in different homes, as well as what to do when you are bringing a new child into the mix. Melissa has some really great wisdom to share when it comes to open and honest communication with children that I think will be super helpful for those times you may feel alone, frustrated, or guilty about feelings you have toward stepchildren and your “us” baby.   5:03 – 9:34 – The story of Melissa’s blended family and what it’s like to meet an older step-child. 9:35 – 12:52 – How she and her wife started their relationship with boundaries and setting roles. 12:53 – 14:20 – The co-parenting situation and what they make a priority. 14:21 – 24:26 – The process of bringing a new child into the picture together and how that affected the family dynamic. 26:19 – 44:39 – How Melissa's relationship with her wife has been stretched and grown since blending families. 44:40 – 49:37 – Her coaching work and what projects she’s working on.   Takeaways: How to navigate finding your role as a new step-parent. The importance of open dialogue between the step-parent and stepchild. The different feelings with an “us” child and dealing with guilty feelings as a step-parent. How to prepare for not knowing everything that comes with blending families. Why it's crucial to continue learning throughout the process. The value of having hard rules in your relationship.   Quotes: “The big piece of what we intentionally did was that I opened up a really open dialogue and communication with my step-son from the get-go. We do talk about the things that are working or not working.” – Melissa Wilson “It’s just about having the same shared goal. We work different—we have two very different households with four very different parents, but at the end of the day, we all share the same dream of having a blended family that works for Jaden.” – Melissa Wilson “There are complicated feelings that come with a blended family because there are so many different types of relationships that are involved and different types of love that are happening.” – Summer   3 Interesting Clips: 7:30 – 8:00 – The hardest part of Melissa's relationship with her older step-child. 11:56 – 12:51 -  Creating an open dialogue between step-parent and stepchild from the start. 22:49 – 24:26 - The importance of resolving the big feelings and building a positive relationship.   Links: Melissa Wilson: Instagram | Podcast | Website Text us: 760-389-3722 Send us an anonymous letter Subscribe & Review in iTunes! Are you subscribed to our podcast? If not, we would strongly suggest you do. This way you won’t miss a thing! Subscribe here: Everything Always And now for the pretty please with a Bordeaux Maraschino Cherry on top. We would be so incredibly grateful if you left us a review on for Everything Always as well. This will help other parents and families like you find our podcast. Plus, it’s fun for Mike and I to sit and read them together on date night! Just click here, click open in iTunes, select “Ratings and Reviews”, tell us your favorite moment and best take away and we will send a huge cyber hug and kiss right to you! Find the Everything Always Podcast wherever you listen! Apple Podcasts (iTunes) acast Pocketcasts ListenNotes Spotify player.fm