7.5: Oh No! I Talked About Racism and Made Things Worse

I’ve heard from so many parents who have been listening to the First Name Basis Podcast and other anti-racist educators, have tried to implement the suggestions they learn as they try to teach their children … only to feel like it’s all completely backfired. Perhaps you’ve been there, where you’ve talked to your kiddos about racism only to hear them express even MORE biases to you that they’ve picked up from their environment. While I get that it can be discouraging as a parent and it may feel like you’re failing, the reality is quite the opposite! Did you know that it’s actually super common for kids to make more — rather than fewer — biased comments when they’re first learning about topics such as bias, differences, social justice and racism? While we, of course, never want kids to hold onto biased ideas, the fact that they’re saying them out loud to YOU means you have built trust and opened that line of communication with them. In this episode, I’ll talk more about: Strategies for supporting Children of Color, including exposing them to representation, helping them find safe people who can be allies and keeping an eye out for appropriated racial oppression. How parents of white children or children who benefit from white privilege can respond and reframe when it feels like their anti-racism efforts aren’t working. How to use the times your kiddos express bias as a time to have more conversations about anti-racism and your family values.   Ally Elementary and Ally Elementary Jr. Registration is now open for both Ally Elementary and Ally Elementary Jr.! Parents have been asking for a practical, interactive way to implement the anti-racist strategies that I lay out in the First Name Basis Podcast, so I created Ally Elementary and Ally Elementary Jr.  Ally Elementary is geared toward third-eighth graders, while Ally Elementary Jr. is for the smaller allies in our lives who are in preschool-second grade. During these programs, parents will work together with their children to create a culture of anti-racism in their home. We will use hands-on activities to teach our children about everything from the untold story of how race was created to how they can disrupt racism in their everyday lives to how they can learn more about their individual identity and culture. I am so excited to watch the families in our community make a meaningful transformation and improve their communities through anti-racist action. Registration closes September 30, so don’t miss your chance. Head over to firstnamebasis.org/sneakpeek for a look inside the programs and to receive a coupon code straight to your inbox! Click here to join the waitlist for Ally Elementary (for third-eighth graders)  Click here to join the waitlist for Ally Elementary Jr. (for preschool-second graders)   Articles, Studies & Podcasts Referenced in the Episode First Name Basis Podcast, Season 4, Episode 4: “Oh No! My Child Said Something Racist” First Name Basis Podcast, Season 1, Episode 1: “Talking to Young Kids About Race” First Name Basis Podcast, Season 1, Episode 2: ”Talking to Older Children About Race” First Name Basis Podcast, Season 3, Episode 9: “Racism 101” “Children Notice Race Several Years Before Adults Want to Talk About It,” American Psychological Association “Raising Antiracist Children: A Practical Parenting Guide” by Britt Hawthorne “Anti-Bias Education for Young Children and Ourselves” by Louise Derman-Sparks & Julie Olsen Edwards Song credit: “Sleeper” by Steve Adams” and “Dive Down” by VYEN