15: Helping parents role model being imperfect to teens

Welcome! Today’s guest is Sharon Martin, licensed clinical social worker in San Jose, CA. She works with adolescents and adults in helping them embrace their imperfections as individuals and as a family. In this episode you will learn: Sharon began her career working with teenagers  She is a mom of three children In her work she pulls from her own personal teen years and the struggles she had socially, being sensitive person, and with perfectionism “Lost sense of who I was” Perfectionism can impact both teens and adults Increase stress levels If I’m not perfect, then it will be catastrophic Attempting to people please and look for approval of who you are Teens need to separate, become individuals and mess up and learn from their mistakes Supporting parents is similar to how working with teens Help parents in letting go Explore how they as parents are separate from children What do you imagine the the worst thing is going to happen and how realistic is it that it will happen Inner exploration vs looking outside yourself for validation Parallel Processes Teens-grappling with identity of who am I Women-can have “lost of sense of self” as mom and rediscovering who they are Why they seek therapy: To find out “Am I ok” for the teenager and for parents it is “will my child going to be ok”-giving them reassurance and hope Educating being imperfect is enough Change in brain development for this stage We are all imperfect Helpful for parents to model imperfections with children Role model that making mistakes is normal Life is a journey not a destination Benefits of therapy: Help parents and teens explore internal values You will be able to handle anything life throws at you Teens imagine ideal life that won’t turn out exactly like they imagine. Parts of it will be better than expected and parts of it worse than thought. Learn how to take healthy risks If you liked this episode I invite you to subscribe on iTunes to receive the weekly updates. This podcast is also available on Stitcher, Google Play and now iHeartRadio. To sign up for the newsletter and receive updates go to: http://launchingyourdaughter.com Sharon’s Information: http://sharonmartincounseling.com/ http://blogs.psychcentral.com/imperfect/ Book Recommendations: Dr. Kirstin Neff’s-Self-Compassion