Emotional Regulation in Young Children

What is self-regulation? What is emotional regulation? On this episode of Learn With Less, Ayelet explores these terms and how to support this sometimes tricky part of your infant and/or toddler’s development. Below is the transcript of this week’s “Developmental Thought,” an excerpt from the full episode. For additional information, music, play ideas and the complete interactive family experience, please listen to the entire episode. Self-regulation. Most of us have heard the term, but what does it really mean? We know it has to do with emotions, how we respond to situations, and whether we have the tools in place to do so effectively. Most of us struggle with it to some degree (let’s face it, especially when challenged by sleep deprivation or a grumpy toddler)… but something for all parents and caregivers of young children to remember is that all infants and toddlers struggle with it! I want to speak specifically about the emotional component of self-regulation, or “emotional regulation.” >>Don’t Miss Our Corresponding Blog Post<< Regulating Emotions Our emotional responses are, most basically, physical, neurological and biochemical reactions to situations and stimuli presented from outside our bodies. This includes bodily processes like heart rate, blood flow, respiration, and more. Our ability to self-regulate has to do with the maturation of our brains – for instance, throughout infancy, the frontal lobe is developing rapidly. This is an area we know is involved in the ability to regulate emotions and perform what’s known as “executive functioning” skills (think here about the skills an “executive” needs to perform – like the ability to plan, behave appropriately, solve problems, etc). We also know that emotional responses are part of temperament and behavior. We can think of the way emotions are expressed through actions – when a young child cries, laughs, or withdraws from an activity, she is communicating a behavioral response of sorts. Finally, emotional responses are linked to our cognitive abilities. For a young child to be able to participate in or complete a task – whether that is in the context of play, eating, or other routines – she must be able to attend to what she’s doing. She needs to be able to problem-solve a way to get what she wants if she is feeling hungry, tired, frustrated, or dissatisfied, and she needs the language to express that feeling to those around her. Responsive Teaching So, these three areas (physical, behavioral, and cognitive) are all involved in the development of emotional regulation. And we’re not born with the ability to regulate our emotions, just like we’re not born able to walk or speak. We have to learn, through imitation, practice, and observation, how to get our needs met. Like anything else, this takes time, and is influenced by responsive caregiving. When we as parents and caregivers are consistent in our responses, we positively model and shape the ways that our infants and toddlers respond to their environment. We’ve spoken in past episodes about providing “scaffolding” or “channeling Goldilocks” and