Teaching Children About Consent: Rights, Respect and No Regrets

The concept of consent has been in the news a lot in recent years in the context of stories of sexual assault at high school or college parties and sexual harassment in the workplace. But, understanding consent is important long before children reach adolescence. In what ways might we be unintentionally sending the wrong message about consent? What about when we push our young child to give a hug to a visiting relative? Or what about kids horsing around by a lake and pushing another child off the dock?   These common scenes are the starting point for teaching children they have a right to say no. And, perfect opportunities for them to learn to respect the rights of others to say no to them. (And if Aunt Agnes wants a hug, she should ask, “Would it be OK if I gave you a hug?”) Then, when toddlers become teens, it’s time to ramp things up. At this age, you can speak candidly and clearly about legal definitions of consent. For example, you would be wise to discuss the risks of sexting. And – on the brighter side – you can discuss the joy of consent and enthusiastic (and sober) participation in  intimacy. Christy Keating, prosecutor turned parenting coach, and CEO of The Heartful Parent, joins Marti & Erin in this Mom Enough episode. Tune in for a rich, heartfelt, and informative discussion on this important aspect of parenting.     HOW WILL YOU TEACH YOUR CHILDREN ABOUT CONSENT?  Whatever the ages of your children, in what situations could you teach them in age-appropriate ways about the concept of consent? If you have adolescents (or, if not, think ahead to when you will), what are key points in this podcast that you would want to be sure to discuss with them? What are some of the situations or sources of pressure that could pose a threat to your teens or young adults in making healthy, respectful choices about consent in romantic relationships?      WANT TO LEARN MORE ABOUT CONSENT? ❉ HEARTFUL PARENT HANDOUT ON CONSENT. Take a look at this handout on talking about consent that includes do's, don'ts, and Christy Keating's eight rules for what to talk about.   ❉ TEACHING OUR CHILDREN ABOUT SEX, LOVE AND EQUALITY: A CONVERSATION ABOUT SEX EDUCATION. Author Bonnie Rough discovered some surprising lessons about sex education while living in the Netherlands when her children were very young. That experience led her to several years of research for her latest book, Beyond Birds and Bees: Bringing Home a New Message to Our Kids about Sex, Love and Equality. Bonnie joins Marti & Erin for a thought-provoking discussion on what she learned about the "birds and the bees."