Baby Loss is So Lonely - Interview with Hannah Sinnott

In this honest and brave episode Zoe speaks with Hannah Sinnott. Hannah talks about her beautiful daughter Cora, who tragically died of birth complications at just 24 hours old. They discuss Hannah’s journey to motherhood, her tragic birth story and the difficulty of being pregnant again after such a devastating loss.   KEY TAKEAWAYS Hannah married her husband Joe in 2015 after meeting at university. They went on honeymoon to Thailand and made the decision not to come back and travelled for 18 months. Hannah and Joe have always been family orientated and Hannah has always loved children and babies, she knew she wanted to be a mum from an early age. When they decided it was time to start their family, Hannah fell pregnant quite quickly. Hannah had a straightforward pregnancy, it was low risk and there were no issues. She did a hypnobirthing course and planned a homebirth. She was nervous about birth like most first-time mothers but mostly remembers being excited. Hannah began labouring at home when she was 10 days overdue, when the midwife came she was already 6 cms dilated. She went to labour in the birthing pool and was at the pushing stages for a couple of hours but not much was happening. They knew something wasn’t right, eventually she was examined and it turns out she wasn’t fully dilated which meant her cervix was very swollen. She they went to hospital via ambulance. Once in hospital the babies heart kept started to dipping, she was put on oxytocin to help with the labour and babies heart dipped dangerously again – this is when the emergency buzzer was pressed and Hannah went into emergency surgery. Hannah woke up after her general anaesthetic and remembers just being so aware of the quiet. Joe came and before he even spoke she knew it was bad news; Cora was very poorly. A short time later they were told that their daughter was going to die. There were tests and investigations done at the time but no answers were found to why Cora died at that moment, all they knew is that she had been starved of oxygen. It was an incredibly devastating and tragic time for Hannah and Joe but they are thankful that they got to spend some time with Cora before she died. They were also allowed to spend some time with Cora after she passed and take photos and create memories, at the time Hannah didn’t realise how healing this would be. The support Hannah and Joe received from their families after the death of Cora was immeasurable. They helped them survive. After Cora’s death, more investigations were done. They flagged a few issues, mainly with the placenta but also with care. The heart monitoring wasn’t done correctly. Either of these things and Cora may have still been saved, but combined it was a tragedy. Hannah and Joe made the decision to move back to Hannah’s hometown, it was hard for Hannah to leave the nursey especially but they felt this was the right decision for them and their family. Hannah and Joe are pregnant again, but understandably this is incredibly triggering and difficult for them. It’s impossible for them to excited. One thing Hannah and Joe has found is people do not know how to support parents of baby loss, especially when time has passed and they are pregnant again. Hannah believes humans are ‘fixers’ and loss is not something you can fix so people do not know what to do for the best.   BEST MOMENTS “Joe was adamant we were having a girl…he said he had a dream early on” “I sometimes question if that was my body in distress”  “It must sound really morbid to people who haven’t experienced it, but it was just really special”  “I was in shock for a while, it just didn’t feel real” “You always need your mum”  “Until he is here safely I won’t believe he will be”    VALUABLE RESOURCES www.petalscharity.org www.tommys.org www.arc-uk.org www.sands.org.uk   ABOUT THE GUESTHannah Sinnott www.petalscharity.orgwww.tommys.orgwww.arc-uk.orgwww.sands.org.uk   ABOUT THE HOST Zoe Cresswell Devoted mother of two (and a big hairy dog), UK trained midwife, doula and personal trainer, specialising in pre and postnatal fitness. Zoe was born in the UK and before moving to Dubai in 2013 and worked as a midwife in central London, both in a birth centre and a very busy NHS hospital. Although late to the scene, Zoe is an aspiring athlete having won numerous triathlons and representing Great Britain where she placed within the top 10 on the world stage. With her husband James, the couple will soon be launching their cloth nappy company, Bop & Bee, where they hope to inspire families to swap a few disposable nappies a day for the more planet friendly option of cloth. Zoe’s goal is to share her knowledge and experience, tell real life stories, manage expectations and open up those often difficult conversations. Zoe’s own motherhood journey has been full of twists and turns as she put everything on hold and went through numerous miscarriages and rounds of IVF.   CONTACT DETAILS Instagram : @zoecresswell_me Facebook: Zoe Cresswell LinkedIn: www.linkedin.com/in/zoe-cresswell