036: The Process for International Adoption

Parent Driven Development Episode 036: Adoption This episode will discuss the process of international adoption, the major changes that hit home, and future challenges adopting parents and children face 00:28 Welcome, Kalimar How long does it take to adopt a child internationally? It took Kalimar 2 ½-3 years! Kalimar and his wife have had their baby girl for 6 months, she is now 21 month old Huge learning curve welcoming a child that already has mobility 01:12 Why choose adoption? Kalimar and his wife are 35+ and decided this was the right option for them 01:39 What is process for international adoption? Adoption ad in paper, an option International adoption agencies is most common and safe International adoption requirements: Micro scale of state approval, social workers, background checks, reading, workshops, cultural events, then moving to federal approval then international country approval 4:43 How hard is it to adopt a child? Is parenting easier or harder? The paperwork is tough, but Kalimar says parenting is harder! Everyone and every book has a different advice on parenting Kids don't come with instructions 6:05 Challenges of being a new parent? No more late nights because baby doesn’t sleep in The need for more friendly activities with friends, luckily most of Kalimar's friends already have kids! Secret sledding hills that have mostly been kid only zones are now opened up to play at 8:08 Experiencing everything with fresh eyes KWU's son is full of excitement and the energy is contagious Kalimar's daughter eats spaghetti for the first time and its adorable New toddlers like to explore their limits and gravity 10:36 Things to consider when adopting a child The challenges in adopting a newborn verse a toddler Kalimar had to baby proof before bringing his daughter home The danger kid zone within the house, everyone has one 12:20 Are post adoption services and consultants available? Yes! Massive support from adoption agency, trainings, workshops, other families and community members Why parenting classes are important and how biological parents should be put through parenting school just like adoption parents First day with adopted child - the bumps, triumphs and everything in between 15:23 How do you decide which agency or country to choose from? First google agency, then attend an open house and adoption seminars, see who you mesh with Factor in expense of international adoption cost and timeline that it will take 17:45 How do the adoption seminars prepare you? Kalimar reflects on the self question of making it known that his daughter is adopted in daycare or not Adoption transition tips - understanding the child is going through HUGE emotional changes Kalimar feels lucky his daughter is so adaptable How to talk about the adoption process with your child at the level they can understand. Open discussion is best, remove the taboo Adoptive parents do a whole lot of work and are totally the parents 24:13 Top parent concerns, are they adoption based? Kalimar worries about his daughter being treated as a minority, as he and his wife are caucasion and their daughter is Indian. Girl and dad relationship, other common worries Become a part of the local community of their daughters orgin Pros and cons of exposing your child to their origin country 28:46 Genius / Fail moments Chris stores old legos and toys in his attic until his friends with new babies need them. Out of the house and supporting a friend #parentingwin Allison gets crafty by using walkie-talkies to keep in touch with her 4-year-old son at her office HQ #genius JC’s 10-year-old daughter is a total catch! She learns how to put in the work to improve her skills as her teams catcher. KWU’s son is repeating everything. She’s noted to watch her language, but proud that her son has picked up on her good habits and is mimicking new language. Kalimar temps his daughter back to the dinner table by making it look like the most delicious time ever! Kids continue to throw food on the ground... to learn reaction and explore new roles #fail Follow & Support Please follow us @parentdrivendev on Twitter or email us at [email protected]. Our website is at ParentDrivenDevelopment.com. Support us via Patreon and get access to our our Slack Community. Panel KWu JC Avena Allison McMillan Chris SextonSpecial Guest: Kalimar Maia.