Ep. #81: The Value of a Safe Space

I want to talk to you today about the value of a safe space. Now, it may seem obvious - of course children need a safe space that they can go to! But I've had a few conversations lately and some experiences of my own that have reminded me of the importance o fcreating safe spaces for your child to turn to. I'm going to start by sharing my own story, then talk a little about what constitutes a safe space and why they are important, and then we'll look at a few examples where safe spaces might get overlooked and the sorts of problems that can arise from that.So, I was inspired to share this with you today because I'm a Girl Scout leader, and I realized last night that I hadn't explicitly defined a safe space for my girl scouts to retreat to should they need to remove themselves from the group dynamic. Why would they need to do that? Well, our troop can get pretty loud. The girls can get silly. And it can get a little bit overwhelming. And sometimes there are games with a clearly defined winner, and, as we all know, there can be a lot of emotions wrapped up in winning and losing. I always allow the girls to opt out of activities or games that make them feel uncomfortable, but I haven't ever said "If you feel like you need a moment away from the troop, I understand that, here's where you can go."And yet, I know that this is something that is so valuable to offer.This kind of safe space might take the form of a cozy corner in a preschool or elementary school classroom, but they aren't as common as kids get older.As they get older, adults tend to expect that they will just be regulated. That they'll be able to handle disappointment, that they'll be able to participate attentively, and that they won't need any extra support doing this.Now, if you're parenting a highly sensitive elementary schooler or middle schooler, you probably know that these assumptions do not hold true for all kids. Big emotions in big kids are no joke, and if they don't have a safe space or permission to process them, they tend to internalize them until they have the safety they need to release and process, or they become disruptive.Offering a space where kids can process what they're feeling, or just have space away from everyone else is a kindness to all kids.--- Support this podcast: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/julia-mcgarey/support Get full access to The Blackbird Chronicles at juliamcgarey.substack.com/subscribe This is a public episode. If you would like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit partneredpathparenting.substack.com