CREATING QUALITY TIME WITH OUR KIDS

Quality time with our kids is important! But how do we manage it, especially as single parents whose time is already so limited? And, sometimes we feel added pressure to make the time together a big deal. It helps to consider that kids remember the time you spend with them much more than the things you do. A recent study in the Journal of Marriage and Family says the quality of time is much more important than the amount of time parents spend with their children. It isn't about endless hours spent together—it's about how you choose to spend the time that truly matters. So, how do we, as single parents, create quality time moments with our kids when time is one of our rarest commodities? We considered four ways to create quality time with our kids: Rituals: Build quality time into the normal rituals of daily life. Instead of trying to add in more activities, make the ordinary moments count. Routines:  Establish routines that become meaningful ways to show up for your kids while you're in the car, during meals, and at bedtime. Random: Look for opportunities that pop up unexpectedly and make the most of them. Fun memories can come from quality time "on the fly". Responsive: Be aware of the times your kids need you to respond in the moment. Some things can't wait. Stop what you are doing and make your response to them a priority. Here are some suggestions single parents came up with to establish quality time in these areas: Start seeing times with our kids not as a chore but as a privilege Be deliberate about being 'present' in moments Remember your kids don't need "big" moments. Sometimes just being in the same room together for homework, bedtime or watching TV is enough. Do chores together. Make projects a family event. Even loading the dishwasher together can be quality time. Go to where they are and join them in what they are doing. Don't expect them to come to you. Be present in ordinary moments like picking them up and during car time. Stay off your phone when in their presence. Connect face to face with your kids whenever possible. Schedule it and let this be a non-negotiable on your calendar. Find something that can be done every day. Examples: read together at bedtime, make bedtime prayer a routine time together. Eat together with no technology. Create a list of easy activities or experiences you can choose from when the opportunity arises. Examples: Waiting for a sibling to finish an activity, google knock-knock jokes or play "Would You Rather?". Stop by the pet store or humane society to pet the dogs and cats, stop by the playground and play tag or swing for 20 minutes. Throughout your day and week, look for random moments where you can just enjoy being with your children. Have FUN! Be silly. Whether in the rituals and routines of your daily lives or in the random moments that pop up here and there, take every opportunity you can to be responsive to your kids.  If they had a hard day or seem out of sorts, put what you can aside and give them your undivided attention. Even 5-10 minutes can pay off. If they have a question, put your phone down and make eye contact. Demonstrate you are there when they need you. With quality time, especially as single parents, it comes down to being deliberate with what we have and intentionally carving out simple moments to be special. Remember, it's not about quantity, and it doesn't have to be big, it just needs to be authentic and real. Join our community - facebook.com/SoloParentSociety