Ep #39: Avoiding ADHD parenting burnout

ADHD parenting burnout is real. As parents, we want to be there for our child. Often that comes at the expense of our health and ability. By giving your child your all, you become a less effective parent. Parents need to take precautions to avoid ADHD fatigue and to acknowledge when they are feeling overwhelmed or dealing with parenting stress. ADHD parenting coach, Siope Kinikini, shares five solutions that will help all parents avoid burnout and be the parent they want to be. The five solutions are: set boundaries, prioritize self-care, find a support group, understand ADHD diagnosis, and establish traditions. The most important thing a parent can do to avoid ADHD parenting burnout is to establish boundaries. Boundaries are necessary. Boundaries help us establish expectations and expectations equal happiness. Happiness is the ultimate goal as it means we are doing our job as parents and providing our kids the love and support they need. We know it can be hard to establish boundaries with a child with ADHD because they need us more than other children. They need more reminders to do things. They need more instructions, which is exactly why they need boundaries. They need to learn how to function in the world without you. Boundaries teach them how to. Boundaries will change as they grow, and it’s okay to adjust those boundaries as this happens to prevent ADHD parenting burnout. Part of establishing boundaries is prioritizing your self-care. That means setting boundaries on time and things that are yours. Whether that’s exercising, taking a bath, reading a book, or eating ice cream they don’t have access to, find those things that allow you to recharge and feel fulfilled. Many parents feel guilty about having self-care routines. Don’t! Your capacity to care for your kid with ADHD has a direct correlation to your self-care. You can not be “on” 24/7 without eventually reaching a breaking point as always being “on” creates anxiety and frustration. Each parent’s self-care will look different so find what works for you. We know that finding time for self-care can be challenging. It’s okay to schedule your self-care. For some parents, it may be 30 minutes all at once. For others, that time may be broken up into small increments throughout the day. Third, have a support system you can turn to when you’re feeling overwhelmed or dealing with parenting stress. Being a parent of a child with ADHD can feel very isolating as not everybody can understand the challenges you and your child face. Find someone who does, whether this is a friend, family member, or a support group online. Sometimes our need for support may extend beyond a friend or support group, which is why we offer ADHD Parenting Coaching. During this time, ADHD Parenting Coach Siope Kinikini, can focus on the unique challenges your family is facing and provide tailored solutions that will improve your family. Fourth, learn about ADHD. This one may seem out of place, but the more you can understand ADHD, the better able you are to understand your child. When you can understand your child, you have greater empathy, and that allows you to put behaviors into perspective and better manage expectations as to what is realistic and what is. When we don’t have realistic expectations, it can increase levels of frustration and anger as reality doesn’t match the expectation we’ve set. Lastly, establish traditions. Traditions build relationships and show your child that you are on their side. Traditions don’t have to be elaborate or costly. They need to work for you and your child. Having your child establish traditions allows them to have a say, which allows for greater buy-in. If a tradition isn’t working, don’t force your child to participate. Remember, the purpose of a tradition is to strengthen bonds and forcing participation doesn’t do that. Adapt and grow with traditions as your child grows. We want all parents of ADHD children to avoid the ADHD parenting burnout. We wou