Combating mum guilt: “I am enough” (Ep33)

Many mums who join our Facebook community tell us that the most difficult thing for them in managing the juggle is a lack of time, or knowing how to better organise their time. As a result we have already dedicated a whole episode to this issue! You can check that out here.  In our opinion, this feeling of not having enough time may be a consequence of what is referred to as “mum guilt”. When you feel like you don’t have enough time, you are often feeling guilty that you should be elsewhere/doing something else.  To ensure we capture a real understanding of what mum guilt means and give some useful ways to manage it, we’ve invited back our first return guest – none other than Jo’s sister, Katrina Alilovic.  Katrina first appeared in episode 18, one of our most listened to episodes, talking all things “mental load”. As a counselling psychologist, the mental load and mum guilt are topics she is often discussing with clients.  Amongst other things we discuss what “mum guilt” actually is. Is it really guilt or some other emotion? We share our personal experiences of mum guilt and explore the reasons why mum guilt is so prevalent – societal pressures and our own caring natures.   Unfortunately, not managing feelings of guilt means women risk becoming debilitated by it, with a consequent negative impact on their overall health and wellbeing.  It’s not all doom and gloom and it wouldn’t be an episode of The Juggle if we didn’t give you some practical ideas for dealing with an issue. So, Katrina kindly shares a list of 9 ways that you can use to manage any mum guilt you may be experiencing. Some of them include:  Challenging the things that you believe are “givens” in your life. Often our ideas of the things that cannot be changed are not based in fact. They are perhaps just the way things have always been, or you’ve wanted them to be. It’s time to challenge this.  Practising self-compassion. Be aware of how you speak to yourself. It’s OK to give feedback and monitor yourself against your aspirations, however it’s only through acceptance of yourself in any given moment that you can move through it to how you want to be. Comparing yourself to others is not an answer.  Celebrating your wins by reflecting on what you are doing well. Make yourself come face to face with what you like about how you parent. Be mindful in the moments – as being focused expands the perception of time.  Ensure you have a strong community around you, whether it’s your parent, friends, family or a bigger group like our Facebook community. You need to have people around you that make you feel supported.  Katrina’s parting piece of advice? She wants you to firmly believe that “You are enough”. We all need to know that we’re not perfect, the world’s not perfect, but be OK with saying “I am enough”.   We end the episode with a sneak peek into the self-care challenge we are planning in conjunction with our next episode. Make sure you stick around and join our free Facebook community for that!  Also, make sure you hit subscribe to be notified when future episodes are released and follow us on Instagram for daily inspiration on managing the juggle!