Ask Amy: What Age Is Old Enough for Social Media?

At what age are our children ready for the sometimes shark-infested waters of social media? What limits can we set and tactics can we use to keep them safe while allowing them to communicate with their friends and stay connected? Megan sent an email to [email protected] to ask: "I’m getting so worried about social media as my kids grow older. As a mom of three (ages 9, 12, and 14), I find myself at a loss when it comes to navigating this digital landscape. My oldest, who is in 8th grade, is starting to express a desire to get social media. She keeps talking about how all of her friends have it. However, I can’t help but worry about the unrealistic standards it sets, and how that could affect her development and self-esteem. Am I crazy for not wanting her to get Instagram and Tiktok? I want her to grow up like an average kid and not miss out on things her friends are doing. I just wish social media wasn’t so toxic, especially for girls." Your kid is likely telling the truth when she says that most of her peers are on social media. That doesn't mean your concerns as a parent for her safety and privacy aren't incredibly valid. Social media doesn't have to be an either absolutely-none or no-holds-barred decision. Privacy settings, and controlling what your child is posting, give you some control. It's possible to start with tighter reins and more oversight and then slowly let out the slack line. Take the particulars of your own kid into consideration. You know what's right for your kid. Set the rules you want with an open dialogue, rather than have it become something that your daughter can't talk about with you at all.Approaching social media with your child, rather than forbidding until she figures out how to do it behind your back, is probably the better option. Links to resources Amy mentions in the episode: Wait Until 8th: https://www.waituntil8th.org/ Devorah Heitner's book Growing Up In Public: https://bookshop.org/a/12099/9780593420966 Bark.us (use this code for a free trial: https://www.bark.us/?ref=2R4XYRK) Special thanks to our sponsor, Pampers: For trusted protection, choose Pampers, the #1 Pediatrician Recommended Brand. Download the Pampers Club App today to start earning free diapers.