130: Introduction to mindfulness and meditation with Diana Winston

"When she was younger, she wasn't that into reading and that was like a huge deal for me.  I thought: "I'm such a reader. My daughter doesn't love to read." She's still not a big reader, but it's not hampering her in any way. She's blossoming in fifty other ways, but when I get caught in that story, "She's not like me. She's not..." - that's when I'm suffering. So I settle back into trusting, and think: "Oh, she's becoming who she is. Let her be that." -Diana Winston     Meditation is touted as being a cure-all for everything from anxiety to depression to addictions.  But is it possible that all this is too good to be true?   In this episode, meditation teacher - and former Buddhist nun! - Diana Winston guides us through what we know of the research on meditation that's relevant to parents.  It turns out that the quality of much of this research isn't amazing, but this may not matter to you if you're thinking of starting a meditation practice because the opportunity cost (a few minutes a day) is so low and the potential benefits are so high.   We walk through a basic meditation that you can do anywhere, and no - it doesn't involve sitting cross-legged with your thumb and first finger held in a circle and saying 'ommmmmm....'.   I was skeptical about meditation too - until I tried it.  Perhaps it might help you as well?     Taming Your Triggers If you need help with your own big feelings about your child’s behavior, Taming Your Triggers will be open for enrollment soon.   We’ll help you to: Understand the real causes of your triggered feelings, and begin to heal the hurts that cause them Use new tools like the ones Katie describes to find ways to meet both her and her children’s needs Effectively repair with your children on the fewer instances when you are still triggered It’s a 10-week workshop with one module delivered every week, an amazing community of like-minded parents, a match with an AccountaBuddy to help you complete the workshop, and mini-mindfulness practices to re-ground yourself repeatedly during your days, so you’re less reactive and more able to collaborate with your children. Join the waitlist now. Click the banner to learn more!           Jump to highlights: (02:36) Introducing Diana Winston (03:39) Defining Mindfulness (05:25) Distinguishing between mindfulness and meditation (06:26) How can mindfulness benefit me? (08:05) Self-hatred as a Western concept (12:27) The practice of mindfulness rooted in religion and cultural appropriation (13:57) The research on mindfulness (17:27) Why is it so hard to study mindfulness? (19:33) Mindfulness vs science as tools of observation (21:26) The benefits of mindfulness to parents and children (28:04) Improving parent-child relationships through mindfulness (30:27) Working in mindfulness practices in the context of communities (35:52) Practice mindfulness now with this quick walkthrough (42:46) Sit Still and It Will Hurt Eventually     Useful links: Taming Your Triggers Workshop   Books and other resources: The Little Book of Being: Practices and Guidance for Uncovering Your Natural Awareness Waking Up App by Sam Harris UCLA Mindful App